WELCOME TO YINGYING’S HOME!

2016 has been a struggling year for me. After recovering from the death of my father 6 years ago, I have lost my dearest grandfather who raised me up and my 6-year-relationship boyfriend who tore me up in the first half of this year.

I am turning to 24 years old at the end of this year. Yes, I am the “Monkey”. According to Chinese traditional saying, there is always something really bad happening when someone is in his or her year. At the beginning of this year, to refrain from the wicked power, I had worn several red decorations all over my body, like red bracelets and red waist lines, before the Spring Festival was coming.

However, nothing could stop the evil seeds from growing and blossoming.

I admit that since I have been in New York for these days, the pain during I am awake has been weakened a lot by the far distance from China. However, the recurrent terrible dreams at nights have reminded me of the hurts again, again and again. Finally, I have made the decision to write something to record this special year and the turning point of my life.

In my blog, I will share my feelings about my loses of my family members. I will recollect the stories between the three men and I and will tell you how they have told me to grow up and to be a sound person. Let’s taste the sweet, face the pain, and learn how to stand up again together.

I will share some adjustments of my career plans accompanying with these big changes of my life as well. I was once an entrepreneur when I was in college.  In the past, I could rely on others and did what I want without thinking about the outcomes. Now, I have to be independent totally and elaborate my future in details. I want to be a marketing researcher here, in New York, based on my knowledge of math and economics, which I studied during undergraduate courses. Therefore, in my blogs, I will pay attention to marketing and talk something about brands.

I am very glad that finally I have found a place to let out all my emotions. Because Chinese young people tend to post stuffs on Wechat, which is the most popular social media in China, it’s hard for me to narrate something in details. More importantly, no one has the willing to read them all if you post long paragraphs on social media like Wechat or Facebook. Most of your friends are just killing their time by consuming hundreds of pieces of short contents and don’t have the patience to be touched by any lengthy texts.

As an international student, I am also experiencing culture shock and considering about whether to be a Christian. When I was in China, I didn’t believe there is any god in this world at all. Now, I have totally changed. I realized that not everything could be explained in science and it would be more like being designed by someone from the very beginning. At the same time when I am suffering from the agonies, I am being influenced by the events related to religions and beliefs. It’s not a coincidence. Maybe it’s part of god’s plan.

I know it’s a long path to walk to god. I am reading a book called Mere Christianity recommended by one of my Christian friends here . I will share my thought about the process of being a Christian from a secular view as well.

I am lucky I am still young. I am lucky I can write down all the feelings I want to share with you. We are lucky because god loves us.